From A Virgo Lady: Be Or Not To Be Friends?

Hi folks,

Sorry for the being so lazy to post my blog here.. I was so busy … but luckily, I got some time to read some emails. After Ive read this particular email, I decided to post it here.. its a good read for all you guys.. Hope you enjoy..:)

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This is the first I have seen this site and wanted to post something but wasnt sure how to do it so will send this to you and ask that you reply in e-mail because of your advice since your site seems genuine. This is a really long story but going to make it short as possible and just give the details that need to be given. First off here is the situation,and ask for your imput and not judgement. I am a married virgo woman, 40 years old from the USA who met a 28 year old german single man online. We met in a game and chatted on messengers daily and went to phone text and phone calls all while he lived in germany and I in usa. I was upfront about the marriage from the start, husband and I are more like roommates that live together due to the fact we cant afford to live alone. German knows everything and was extremely private..it took him 8 months into the relationship to show me a pic of him and get his cell phone number…and a year and a half to tell me his last name, all this I found to be a controll issue with him. Most of our fights are about him trying to controll everything..he sees it the other way around of course, lol. We fell in love and all while this was happening he was finishing school in germany getting his BA and one day at his school there was a speaker talking about a germany company in USA looking for those that were interested to do internship. My german has always wanted to live in USA and we talked about it and it just so happens that it is an area that I use to live at and know about and is currently about an hour and a half away from where I live. As it turns out, he got the internship and has lived less than 2 hours from me for about 8 months now. We have always had daily contacts, even when we fought and when things got bad he always made sure that we would talk things out so things would not get worse. Btw he is a Pisces cusp so isnt totally the typical aqua since he has both signs. Anyway USA has change him a lot and due to his hard work of trying to get a perm job in the USA has given him stress, stress, stress. We were fighting more and more..we have met 6 times and spent HOURS together face to face, all in which we had great times, even though there were some spats at times. He is very very private and really hates the company that he interns for but wants a perm job just so he can have a change to stay in USA long term. He doesnt like the other interns much and tries to keep his life as private as possible…I will admit that I tend to take things personal and I know the area he lives in and wanted to meet him there so that we can spend time there and I can go and see the stores that I use to love. He would be so against this and it did nothing but create major fights..I would tell him that it hurt my feelings that he didnt want to hang out with me there because it made me feel like trash as if he was afraid that one of his co workers would see us and tell others. He said that was the reason he didnt want us to hang around there, is that because he is so private and I just felt like it was nothing but controll issue on his part. Anyway we fought and fought and he became closed off and when i asked that we talk things out, he no longer will do that, he just says to me “drama, drama, drama, that’s all this is” It got so bad that I broke off the more than friends part of the relationship and we said we would try to be just friends. I couldnt take it anymore…I mean without communication, there is nothing. Of course, now he is much more distant, like I broke his heart or something and when I ask him if he would like to try and work thigns out, it started off with him saying “not right now”..we fought more after that because most the time he wouldnt give me direct answers, it would be a beat around the bush kind of reply. I asked once again if he would be interested in trying to work things out, he told me ” I dont think that it will work” I asked if he could give me some reasons..he said something like ” you are married, and I am in the middle of nowhere in my life” He was very stressed from work when we had this conversation..I told him ” ok I can understand that but I kind of feel like your telling me that I am married is part of the reason almost feels like a slap in the face becasue you NEVER brought it up before and you know I am doing my best to try to save money to change that situation” he never said more about it. There was one day that I couldnt reach him and even in this whole time..he is still there for me on chat and texts me everyday..most the time he texts first. He is giving me mixed signals and wanted to know what you might think after reading this long book. Btw his internship is for 4 more months that we know of and who knows what will happen after that, he is trying his best to get a perm job and I give as much support as I can, in fact it was ME that pushed his ass to contact these ppl and send off apps in the first place..we are still best friends even after all the changes. Last night we were on messenger and he is telling me that we can talk on the phone and voice chat more and is on messenger almost every night after work and texts me everyday. Does this sound like a man that wants to be just friends? He is opening up more and more since our blow outs…I dont want to ask him, he is far too stubborn to give me a direct answer, but is this seem like a man that has cut me off romantically or more like an aquarius that needs more time for me to gain his trust again? I am a bit confused. When we talk on messenger there are different back grounds and we use to always use the one with the floating hearts and when you clicked the “buzz” it would give a kiss. Since we are not just friends, I make our background to plain and white..yet he will always change it back to the hearts, I even asked one time what his back ground was and he told me the hearts and I asked if he picked that and he told me ” yes, for what reason should I change it? stubborn bastard lol. Sorry had to make this so long..some details really needed to be told. Hope to hear from you. Have a great day.

by :A Virgo Lady
H****@live.com

First of all, sorry for the very late response…

Anyway, here’s my response to you… As an Aquarian I know everything what he feels.. based on your story… his priority right now is his career that is the main reason he’s acting like that… When we(Aquarians) get stressed we are completely different person..weird..strange.. I mean, something that is hard to comprehend, I dont know why.. but that’s what it is.. we focus mostly on that particular problem .. we cannot move on or do anything until that one problem has not solved..I can see that’s what is happening to your boyfriend…..All you can do right now is just be supportive to him, help him in anyway when he needs help, dont bug him…dont be so dramatic.. and dont pressure him…ever.. everything will get worse…

Forget everything he says, if you are just friends then just be a friend…dont do or expect more than that…let the time decides if you are really meant for each other.. Also, if he says he loves you or misses you then he has to show it . You have to feel it that he meant what said…dont be carried away by his sweet words…..

Lastly, be positive and expect the unexpected…..

Hope this helps..

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  By meea, June 7, 2011 @ 3:16 am

  What are you thinking????? First your marriage should be important, second if you are already having problems with this kid (younger then you).. Then,, What’s the real problem here???? I would be interested in my current “marriage” before I would be worried about anything else. Take a long look at what YOU are doing here. This isn’t a good thing.. If you just wish for the “thrill”.. you will get more then you bargined for…. Think it out.. what are you gaining??..and what could you lose?

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